Listen to full track
here: http://www.robcastell.com/listen.php
Given that we're half way through the countdown to the end
of the world (on this blog – the Mayan count reached half way in about 551 BC),
and that there was no day 10 ½ to mark the occasion, today seemed a good time to
take a breather from the general destruction of everything and retreat to erm,
the general destruction of everything in comedy. If you can’t laugh at the end of the world (or
any phenomenon capable of producing the Left
Behind novels) then there you’d probably collapse under the weight of sheer
apocalyptic misery (see 1984 BBC film Threads
for a textbook example of how such grimness can be achieved). As Stanley Kubrick’s Dr Strangelove showed in 1964, the
apocalyptic logic of nuclear war in particular was more than capable of
raising a smile, and more recent efforts, such as Seeking a Friend for the End of the World have tried to make
romantic comedies out of the apocalypse. Indeed, biblical apocalypse
as a genre presumes a critique of the world and a radical change to the status
quo, usually described in highly symbolic, if not surreal, language. As such,
the book of Revelation has always been a bit of a draw for those who revel in
the absurd.
Barbershopera are a vocal group who do exactly what their name suggests. The three male and one female member of the group use their impressive
harmonies to produce shows which are marked by a hilarious absurdity. Having started
on stories set in the world of barber shops, they have since expanded into classic
literature such as The Three Musketeers and,
of course, the Apocalypse. Apocalypse No!
tells the story of the four, no, make that three horsemen of the apocalypse who
have been stood up by Death on a mission to bring about the end of the world.
In his place, they employ primary school teacher Beth after a mix-up about the
location of a child’s birthday party (“…
here, at the St. Anne’s Leisure Centre?”/ “Satan’s…Satan’s Leisure Centre, not
St. Anne’s”). The plot, which reveals how unsuited each of
the Horsemen are for their jobs (“You
know sometimes when you get summoned to do an apocalypse and you think – why are
we doing this? Is it really necessary?”)
is entirely silly, but is undeniably
very funny and well worth a listen. The show’s first song, “Ooh, you’ve gotta
have apocalypse” is pretty much my theme tune at present – beautifully sung, completely
apocalyptic, and a probably quite accurate appeal to God to destroy us all. After all, if the world does end on
December 21st, surely the fact that Piers Morgan has television
shows in on two continents must
be the ultimate sign of our depravity?
Barbershopera have a lovely website where you can buy their
music, and will also be on Radio 4 on Christmas Eve, so make sure you check
them out!
Ooh, You Gotta
Have Apocalypse! (Castell and Sadler, 2011)
Ooh you
gotta have apocalypse
It really is
the biz you’ve got to blow it to bits
Please don’t
be put off by this, but we’ve gotta put a stop to this,
The only
remaining option is apocalypse!
You see
there’s inequality and poverty and all the trees are being felled
It’s
ecological hell
Yes, the bio
diversity is in serious adversity
Cos if they’re
not making the cities get bigger
They’re digging
another oil well
They won’t
stop expanding
They need a
firm hand
And though
we understand
You hadn’t
planned it out this way
For homo sapiens the race is run
For homo sapiens the race is run
The time is
come
For you to
unfurl the end of the world
So won’t you
bring it about today?
It’s the doobie-doobie-doobie-do-doomsday
It’s all we’ve
gotta say
And though we know the truth may hurt,
It would be worse to leave this curse upon the earth,
And though we know the truth may hurt,
It would be worse to leave this curse upon the earth,
Than to obliterate
the human race
So shout horary
for doobie-do-doomsday
Doomsday,
doomsday, doomsday, doomsday…
They’ve got
economies in crisis, they’ve got vices and sin,
They need
enlightening over which items go in the recycling
And which
don’t – and they won’t take control of their souls
And they
still can’t cure the common cold
[Achoo!] – [Bless
you!]
They bottle
water then they make you pay,
When you
could have just got it from the tap anyway,
They gave
Piers Morgan his own show,
There’s no
solution
And some of
them are still unwilling to believe in evolution
We want a
rinky-dinky-donky –ram-a-lama Armageddon
That’s where
we should be headin’
Cos the
human race is treading on thin ice,
Don’t think
twice, we’ve been nice
But these
guys are ready for Armageddon
So won’t you
say it’s doomsday
And shoot
from the hip
And let rip
this apocalypse?
Listen on Spotify: Apopalypse: Apocalyptic Advent Calendar
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